How to Handle Haters 101

How to Handle Haters 101: "If they hate, then let them hate & watch the money pile up!!!" My fellow hip-hop enthusiasts have committed these "words to live by" as a decree on how to 'navigate life.'  They were orated by 50 Cent in his monster hit "In Da Club."  There's a simple formula you can remember to help you keep focused on obtaining/working towards your goals at all times:

 

"Your dollars = zero cents to hating bishes!"

 

As defined yesterday, a bish is a Bitter Individual Spewing Hate. This bish doesn't matter in your episode of  "Living Life"<- Oh yeah, I should make a quick mention...that's the new "TV Title" I've assigned for "our episodes" a.k.a. "topics of discussion" LOL. I just crack up and how awesome & creative I am!  Hahahah remember, I already established that "the first love is self-love" in a previous post  :-) and yes, yes, as Beyoncé would say, "I'm feelin' feeling myself!"  but I digress...  After yesterday's post entitled, "Ms.Modern.C.I.C.ism 101," I laid the groundwork on explaining why we must shut bishes completely out of our lives.  They  (bishes) are dangerously toxic & if you inhabit the same air supply with them for too long; their energy WILL rub off on you, which will mess up your entire chi on  like 100 different  levels!  You must continue on your "positivity path" and keep going after & working towards your goals.

 

Remember, you have to know & believe that your talent, technique & drive will win your race each and every time! We each have our own lane that we're running in to obtain our respective wins. Of course in this analogy, the race is life. We must continue our growth and evolution to constantly propel upwards, continue onward, never veering too far off the path of our goal(s); and continuously move in the forward direction!!  It's about pushing yourself beyond the parameters of your "comfort zone." Be bold & brave to go after what it is that your heart desires; just make sure, your motivation & your skill set/talents can live up to what it is you're working to achieve. 

 

We often don't realize that when you study, work hard & go after your goals; you're already successful.  Many individuals equate success with monetary reward. Sure, getting paid appropriately or in excess, would be the icing on the proverbial 'cake.' However, hard work in itself is a success, because it shows your intense drive to strive for something diligently. Your resolve & strength show great character and mental focus, as well as maturity. As you continue working, you WILL be noticed and appreciated. Your work WILL touch one person; then a few, eventually... you've lost count, not because you are inundated or can't be bothered. But because, you aren't counting how many times you were the light for someone to help lead them to a better path for their lives. Each time you're able to help another person improve their outlook; well, that just fills up your heart and satisfies your soul - - that's the real reward. You're "paid purely' in the form of joy to your heart & a smile on your face. 

 

As you forge ahead etching your name/brand into your chosen industry, always remember to remain humble, proceed with dignity, honesty & grace as you continue to successfully climb your way to the top! We all know as we grind HARD, there's always a bish standing where? Over there; yup them, that bish! They're doing what they do best – being a bitter individual spewing hate! They’re wishing and praying for your downfall, they can’t wait to rejoice in your failure. What should you do? Nod at them, not to acknowledge their existence; but, to let them know you can SEE their true intentions. Haters/”Jealous Ones”/Bishes come from the same parasitic family; they thrive solely on the consumption of your downfall! When you let them know they've been "identified" you’ve already take away their “power.” Did I forget to mention some of the biggest bishes can actually be in YOUR group?! Yup, it's true, some bishes are our ‘friends’ & ‘family.’ When you let them know you "peep game" urban colloquialism which is the equivalent of “discovered their true intentions,” as in what scheme they're up to. You know to keep them avoid and/or eliminate an infiltrator. Now you’re free & clear to continue to, "keep rising to the top & give it all you got!"

Thanks for reading! See you next time...

 

Sending you Love, Light & Positivity!

Kimberly***

Ms.Modern.C.I.C.ism 101: Defining & Clarifying MY usage of the word "bish"

Ms.Modern.C.I.C.ism 101: Defining & Clarifying MY usage of the word "bish."  My usage of "bish" is VERY, VERY, VERY different from the commonly used "replacement" for a degrading name (rhymes with witch) & often used to primarily belittle/degrade women. It's not exclusively used to solely slander women; it's often used to demote men as well. When I utilize the word "bish," it's an acronym; it stands for:

Bitter

Individual

Spewing 

Hate

 

This term is not gender specific. It's used to describe detractors/haters; you know "Negative Nelly's" "Sour Sylvester's" "Grimy Gavin's" or "Bitter Becky's."  I'm living in and loving my "journey of positivity."  If you're a regular reader, you will remember back to the very first day of the New Year, in my post entitled "Happy New Year;" I made a pledge, "...to not only think; but vocally affirm positive things."  I've eliminated individuals that attracted a perpetual state of drama, chaos, confusion & negativity.  In addition, I also switched my mindset to "claim positivity into my daily life." No way would I try to "mess up" my flow and sully my new way of life by degrading another individual in a negative manner.

 

"BISHES" are like roaches, for every one exterminated, there are millions left. They've endured everything from wars, cholera, Tax Day & changing decades;  but misery is an affliction that sadly many people feel most comfortable inhabiting. They thrive off watching someone's struggle or downfall.

 

PSA Announcement: If you know, love and/or care for a "bish," please consider holding an intervention for them. By alerting them to their negative behavior(s), you're in essence being a "guiding light" to help that individual choose a better life path.  Only light & love can heal a fractured soul! Be "the light," and if that bish tries to consume & drain your wattage; hit the "off" switch & permanently dim that relationship! Life is too precious to waste it on bishes who refuse to do the internal work to change, improve and grow. 

 

As always, thank you for reading, until next time...

 

Sending you all Love, Light & Positivity,

Kimberly***

Standing In Your Truth – Life Lesson #2

A few weeks ago, I had a Facebook late-night group text chat with ‘The Uniques.’  “The Uniques” are a group of 7 dynamic individuals with beautiful souls & minds.  We’ve bonded with one another over the past few months. Initially, we were connected through the neighborhood in which we grew up in. We all hailed from “Castle Hill Houses,” which is often referred to as, “Castle Hill Projects;” in the great State of New York, located in the county/borough of The Bronx.  Through interactions with one another, it lead to us being ‘tagged,’ in several of the same ‘posts;’ thus, leading us to ‘like’ each other’s comments, and as they say, “the rest is history.” Now we’ve evolved from acquaintances, to friends & family. Our discussions range on everything from the political, social, the spiritual and just regular life events. While having general conversation, the very important topic of “Standing in Your Truth” came up. Within the above title, I say it’s the “Number 2 Life Lesson;” because the absolute cardinal rule is, “The first love is self-love!”  If you don’t have self-love, how in the world do you expect to love anyone else? That’s obviously a rhetorical question…  Life has taught most of us, the very important ‘answer’ to the above (question).  If you don’t love yourself in your entirety, you can never live in ‘your truth;’ nor can you truly love another person. In case you’re new to the phrase, or you’ve heard it; but, need more understanding/clarification of what it truly means… “Standing in Your Truth,” can be defined as: purely loving yourself in your totality; this includes all the great stuff, the flaws, quirks and every other complex thing about yourself. We humans, we’re multifaceted beings, and there are so many layers to what makes us who we are as individuals. Everything from genetics, to life’s societal mores, laws, and interactions, play a part in who we are & a small part of that, influences what or who we become.  However, when you get to a certain age, you’re no longer able to use the “how I was raised, or the environment where I’m from,” as excuses to hold oneself back from achieving the greatness that is locked in each and every one of us!

Standing in your truth means, loving and accepting all parts of yourself and being honest with yourself at all times! Never compromise who you are to be in a relationship with anyone. You are never to dim your bright beautiful spirit/light to allow someone else to take a more important & vital role in YOUR life. Trust, that person’s “need to be number one, within the spotlight of your life and theirs,” speaks volumes, in regards to their personal insecurities. These individuals use the ugly tactic of verbal manipulation/abuse against you to both dominate and control you. Essentially, you gave them permission to literally shift and dictate areas of your life. Your need for romantic love, friendship, acceptance, and/or partnership “at all costs”; has clouded your vision. What you once had in the area of self-love mutates to the feelings of disdain & self-loathing. The Parasitic Hosts (no good, abusive women or men) are very successful in their efforts to embed themselves within your mind & methodically inject the venomous seeds of doubt into your psyche. Your uncertainty & weakened spirit is what waters these ‘seeds of doubt’ and now, these negative attributes grow, fester and drown you in sorrow, misery; and you now believe you are somehow ‘less than.”  By taking on these lies, you’ve now become “a product of your environment.”   Even within your weakened state; you still have the power; because they can only grow more powerful with your permission. By you keeping company with this unstable lecherous toxic individual; you allow them access to consistently and continually break you down and suck your spirit from the inside, outward. You have to dig deep, reclaim what’s rightfully yours and expel the parasitic hosts from your life. That is the first step to once again “standing in your truth.” It’s possible, don’t for one second doubt this fact. Whatever you put your mind to, you can & will achieve it!

Stand in your truth, respect yourself and love yourself enough to know you’re amazing, powerful, and dynamic and own these things. By knowing your full worth, you will never, ever allow yourself to be treated as a subservient observer to the narrative that is YOUR life.

Happy New Year!

Hello Beautiful People! It’s my sincere hope that you’ve had a safe and joyous Holiday Season! Happy New Year! It’s officially 2015, and it’s my most sincere hope that you, yes, YOU, (the beautiful person reading this post) & your loved ones have a wonderful year ahead!!  Even though I had absolutely no plans to go out to celebrate New Year’s Eve; I still got cute, you know, for my “Solo-Dolo Party of Exactly 1” LOL… Heeeeyyyyyy, I might be alone, but it doesn’t mean I can’t look cute to bring in the New Year. After my evening shower, I threw on some cute purple, magenta, lilac and white plaid pajama pants accented with  the thinnest, strategically placed gold vertical lines. I paired it with an off the shoulder grey belly top. I quickly swept my hair into a top knot. Added a few coats of mascara to my eyelashes, and as I put on my 2^nd coat of lip gloss, I was super excited at the mere thought of all the possibilities of this New Year of life!

This is the start, to what I hope will be an even more successful year, both professionally and personally for my loved ones, as well as, myself!  All I ever want in life, is for the beautiful souls that surround me to win! You know, achieve their personal best. If there’s absolutely anything I can do to assist them in achieving their goals, dreams, opportunities or aspirations; then I will do everything within my power to help them; you know, as long as it’s legal!!! I’m just keeping it all the way real with you, because this pretty #BrokendownBlackBarbie is NOT about that jail/prison life! Anyway, as I was saying... I have this feeling, like a “for sure” kind of feeling, you know that feeling, like its waaaayyy down deep in the bottom of your diaphragm, or even as far down as the soles of your feet?!?!  Either way, I just have this feeling that anything and everything we desire & work hard towards within 2015; CAN & WILL be achieved & well received, but, most importantly, appreciated & valued!

I can’t get with making resolutions. I am however, all about periodically doing introspective work. I want to make sure that I’m maturing properly and living up to the high standards that I hold acceptable for myself. So far, I’m on the correct path, I’m proud of myself and my accomplishments.  I am still working on things, as we all are. You know, we humans tend to evolve, grow, mature several times throughout our respective lifetimes; well most of us do anyway... Sadly, some individuals stay stagnant; or truly have a horrible/negative disposition about themselves and they sadly ruin everything they touch. This New Year is all about spreading kindness, love & positivity! Let’s make a pact, let’s try our very best to not only think, but vocally affirm POSITIVE things; if we claim positivity into our daily lives, we will see positive changes! The Universe is listening!  Always remember, what you decide to put out into it, is exactly what you will receive in return. If you’re up for the challenge, I look forward to you joining me on this journey for 2015 & beyond!  Enjoy this New Year, it’s filled with hope and opportunity. It’s up to you to make sure you live your best life; after all, we only live this one life, this one time!

Thanks for reading, until next time…

Smooches & Hugs,

Kimberly***

“Practicality vs. Bravery” and why I owe this one to “Jane the Virgin!”

“Practicality vs. Bravery” – thanks to the new hit show “Jane the Virgin” (Monday nights on the CW Network).  I received the new title of my blog post!  In my former life (pre-Scleroderma); I lived by the Practicality Rule. After high school, I went on to earn my Bachelor’s Degree from a University, then I sought out to find the "right job.”  By the time I was 24, I was successfully crossing off my ‘to-do’s” on my checklist. I secured a good paying job, which I was super grateful for, because it was along the interests of my actual college degree/concentration (Sociology & Gender Studies). This was my adult grown up job – it had insurance benefits; as well as, a decent salary & a retirement plan. Most importantly, it had my complete commitment and dedication, which I had never had in my previous jobs post college graduation.  In the beginning, I viewed my job as just that, a job. However, when I was forced to relinquish my position due to my health this past January (2014); I realized, I was indeed on a career track.  I worked extremely HARD for nearly 10 years; so much so, I received a promotion and upgraded from an Administrative Assistant to a Program Assistant.  I remember the minute I was hired for the position, I had a talk with myself. I said in very certain terms, “1. You will take this seriously, 2. You will work for 10 years; then depart to start the 2^nd half of your career as a coordinator in the same field (Residency Training) at another institution, probably in Connecticut or Westchester County, where the pay would be increased by minimum $20,000. “However, the old adage, – “Want to see God laugh? Make plans!”  Is definitely fitting for my circumstances.  My health prevented me from continuing to work in a conventional 9-5 office setting. I was forced to put my health first and foremost and rest/slowdown in order to save my life.

Great blessings came out of my near 10 year experience at my former institution. I found my voice as a writer, my talent as a graphic designer and my awesomeness as an event planner. Work was once the most important part of my identity.  However, when I had to stop working, I went through a culture-shock and had to redefine my self-identity, rebuild my self-esteem, and shift my focus to fit into my new existence. It took nearly a year to really digest that I was no longer gainfully employed under the conventional microscope.  I now had to step out on complete faith! After much prayer and consult, I knew it was time for me to enact the Bravery Rule.  I decided to claim the thing that courses through my veins - Writing. It allows me the opportunity to put my words, thoughts, feelings, emotions and humor together in one medium.  Writing is a wonderful outlet, where I can really get in there and talk about different subjects that not only interest me; but things that are happening in the world, and I lend my unique voice and style of writing to the reader. If you are talented, driven, trust in yourself and your dream; you CAN & WILL achieve anything and everything you put your mind to!  Be confident, work hard at your craft/talent, and be sure to always remain humble & continue to give thanks for your amazing gifts! I know that I wouldn’t have stepped out to claim the Bravery Rule, if I did not have a loving support system that believed in me harder than I ever believed in myself!  You know you are loved unconditionally when the beautiful people around you not only root for you winning; but, they motivate and encourage you to go after your dream!  It is because of their honesty, love, encouragement, and 100% support and contribution to my passion; my dream is now a reality.  I now proudly proclaim - “I’m a Writer!!” I own this truth and I’m proud that I was given this gift of expression.  

Now, I NEED to say this disclaimer - - If you’re about to enact the “Bravery Rule” for a 2^nd half of your career, please, please, please be sure to have some sort of some LEGAL funds coming in, OR saved up to sustain living expenses! I would be doing you a great injustice if I neglected to advise you of this VERY important thing. Go forth, conquer and succeed!!

 Smooches, Hugs & Much Love!  
Kimberly

Do you suffer from S.C.W. Syndrome? Find out here!

Question, do you ever get wrapped up in the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve’s?”  Are you scratching your head, thinking aloud, “what in the hell, is Kimberly talking about?” LOL, Well, simply put, the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve’s” are when you replay a certain scenario in your mind.  You think about a specific situation/interaction from your past and you start second guessing your reaction/response to the said scenario.  That “second guessing yourself" is essentially you thinking, you ‘should have,’ ‘would have,’ and/or if you ‘could have’ done, or said something differently; it would have most likely resulted in a new/different outcome, where you’re deemed the absolute victor. So now that you’re all caught up on the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve’s.”  It actually is the worst damn space to be in!  I guess for those that believe in the proverbial state of ‘limbo,’ this would be the equivalent of SCW’s. Y’all know I had to make the dang acronym, it’s a lot to keep typing out fully. In addition, if you’re an avid reader of my previous blogs, you will recall that I love to create and utilize an acronym!  The SCW Syndrome, yes, I decided to make it a ‘syndrome!’ What else can you call “emotions or actions that usually form an identifiable pattern?” Sure, I could’ve (<- see, I’m doing it right there!) selected the word ‘disease,’ or, ‘disorder;’ but ‘syndrome’ just flowed better. So like I was saying, initially, you know, BEFORE I decided to jump in and cut myself off… SMH.  Anyway, SCW Syndrome is suffered by many.  Some people deal with SCW Syndrome in silence.  Well, I’m going to set you free today! Liberate yourselves, admit this is a ‘condition’ that we need to abolish entirely from our lives!!  I know somewhere, in some part of the world, someone just said it out loud, “I am insert your first name here and I have SCW Syndrome!” Now that you’re aware, you aren’t the only person in life to ever live in this void space.  You may even start to ‘regret’ your initial decision. Once again, I need to help you, “regret is a useless emotion!” You can’t realistically go back in time and rewind a situation. Like this is real life, not one of those “Back to the Future” franchise flicks. The past, is just that, the past! It’s over, it’s never, ever going to come back! Move forward and you’ll live in a space that is amazingly FREE! We have to stop torturing ourselves unnecessarily! We’re a culture of over analytical, jumpy, quizzical human beings that live in cloudy realm of self-doubt. I can no longer be an active participant in this culture of self-abuse, LMAO…. Seriously though, I’m proclaiming a new way for myself and hopefully you, yes, YOU, will join me in abandoning SCW Syndrome. So tell me, are you in??

 

Smooches, Hugs & Much Love...
Kimberly

It’s my 1 year Cannulaversary!!!!

“Cannulaversary” just doesn’t roll off the tongue easily. However, if you know anything at all about me, then you know I LOVE to create some new sh*t!!!!! LOL Yes, I am notorious for creating some type of new word or an acronym.  It’s a talent, what can I say?! [Taking a bow, taking a bow, please, hold your applause.]  So, I’ve decided I would celebrate the day that I was finally approved for supplemental oxygen and thus, required to wear the often dreaded; and at the same time beloved, cannula. Does this sound crazy to you? Not so much to me… If you’ve been rocking with me for a minute, you’ve realized by now that I’m a lil’ ‘crazy.’  Not certifiable, and not quite 7:30, [urban colloquialism that defines the severity of one’s ‘craziness;’ as if it can be measured in actual time] like I need a strait jacket/ I should start hanging out with “Crazy Eyes” from Orange is the New Black type of crazy; but crazy, like an odd sense of humor type of crazy. It’s probably in my best interest to stop (over) explaining my ‘craziness’ at this very minute.  It’s like common knowledge if you over explain something for far too long, you tend to dig yourself into a deeper hole than you initially intended. So I’m going to digress, at this exact moment.  As I was saying earlier on within this post, I decided that this “Cannulaversary” should be commemorated.  This special day marked a new start within my world.  I had been struggling to breathe for a few years and it was challenging to not only watch my decline; but to literally feel the restriction within my lungs and the inability to breathe normal deep full breaths.  Essentially, I was a front row participant in the rapid decline of my lungs.  It pained me to really think about how my body was betraying me. I could no longer walk short distances and breathing was just… laborious. It wasn’t until I received my supplemental oxygen concentrator, the portable tanks, the reserve tanks; as well as, all the extra tubing and cannulas, that I would be given the gift of breathing a little easier.  These supplies were initially met with extreme opposition in combination with quite a bit of trepidation. My pride felt that it was more of a stigma to be ‘saddled down’ with this new ‘burden.’ Like WTF?!? I was only 33 (at the time), and I had been living with Scleroderma since I was 19, Polymyositis and all my other ‘treats’ of MCTD (Mixed Connective Tissue Disease: Raynaud’s, dry eye, mouth and nose, etc.)  As if all of that wasn’t enough to deal with? Now, I’d be REQUIRED to use this “eyesore” both in public & at home?!?! Vanity is a real thing people; however, if you let it consume you, you’re as deep as a cheap a$$ deflated kiddie pool.   One year post of my cannulaization, (yes, this is yet another word I created). I’ve finally transcended above the vanity. I am no longer ashamed of the cannula. How can I be ashamed of something that is helping me to survive?  I now own my confidence and proudly wear my cannula. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a love/hate relationship with the cannula/supplemental oxygen. I obviously love the cannula, because it provides my lungs with the much needed oxygen supply they cannot produce on their own. I’m able to talk for longer spans of time, my overall color is better, as I’m getting more oxygen to flow throughout my entire body. The hate part comes about when I have to worry about breaking my neck when I trip on this crazy 25-foot long cannula cord & tubing.  I know it’s long so that I can easily navigate from room to room; however, why in the hell does it have to get caught on everything?! People with supplemental oxygen know exactly what I’m talking about!  How many times have you been walking swiftly, like you’re on a serious mission trying to go from one room to the next, only to be propelled backwards in an awkward yanking motion with one arm flailing in the air and the other arm instinctively grabbing to protect your neck. Now you may be afflicted with a case of whiplash, your ears are killing you because the damn cord nearly ripped them off; and your eyes are bugged out of your head at the sheer force of the abrupt stop due to the damn jamming of the cannula cord?!?! But I digress.  Whew, I typed much more than I actually anticipated; I’m just so thankful that I’m finally able to breathe the good air!  Happy 1 year Cannulaversary!!!