The Sad Post…

I am not really sure what I’m feeling these days.  It’s as if I’m a permanent resident of the proverbial “rollercoaster of life.” Everyone has peaks and valleys, or highs and lows; but at this current juncture, I feel so alone and a bit lost and really confused.  Does everyone go through these periods? I’m not certain.  I can only speak for myself.  I’m 34, and so uncertain of what I REALLY want for my future.  Is it because I’m secretly afraid that I’d be a bit presumptuous “preparing” for my future; if there indeed is a future?  Tomorrow is not promised to anyone.  The likelihood of a person getting hit by a car and meeting their maker; may have a higher probability than me succumbing to my ‘end’ by Scleroderma.  I know I’m usually very uplifting or upbeat when I write my posts. However, I think it’s only fair for me to show you the other side of my life.  There are days where I’m just so sad, and I feel so cheated; because I have so many limitations and that’s just really hard to truly accept since I have such a fiercely independent spirit.  I have to allow myself to have these ‘negative’ feelings, because I’m human.  Humans have a range of emotions. Pretending to be something I’m not, is just not the move boo! Straight up, I'm too grown and too honest to lie about of sugarcoat something this serious.  It is my sole intention to be 100% transparent with my Chronically Ill Peeps & Readers alike…To be very blunt, Scleroderma sucks! I'm now dropping the mic and sashaying away... See ya in the next post people!!