“Cannulaversary” just doesn’t roll off the tongue easily.
However, if you know anything at all about me, then you know I LOVE to create
some new sh*t!!!!! LOL Yes, I am notorious for creating some type of new word or
an acronym. It’s a talent, what can I
say?! [Taking a bow, taking a bow, please, hold your applause.] So, I’ve decided I would celebrate the day
that I was finally approved for supplemental oxygen and thus, required to wear
the often dreaded; and at the same time beloved, cannula. Does this sound crazy
to you? Not so much to me… If you’ve been rocking with me for a minute, you’ve
realized by now that I’m a lil’ ‘crazy.’ Not certifiable, and not quite 7:30, [urban
colloquialism that defines the severity of one’s ‘craziness;’ as if it can be
measured in actual time] like I need a strait jacket/ I should start hanging
out with “Crazy Eyes” from Orange is the New Black type of crazy; but crazy,
like an odd sense of humor type of crazy. It’s probably in my best interest to
stop (over) explaining my ‘craziness’ at this very minute. It’s like common knowledge if you over
explain something for far too long, you tend to dig yourself into a deeper hole
than you initially intended. So I’m going to digress, at this exact moment. As I was saying earlier on within this post,
I decided that this “Cannulaversary” should be commemorated. This special day marked a new start within my
world. I had been struggling to breathe
for a few years and it was challenging to not only watch my decline; but to
literally feel the restriction within my lungs and the inability to breathe
normal deep full breaths. Essentially, I
was a front row participant in the rapid decline of my lungs. It pained me to really think about how my
body was betraying me. I could no longer walk short distances and breathing was
just… laborious. It wasn’t until I received my supplemental oxygen
concentrator, the portable tanks, the reserve tanks; as well as, all the extra
tubing and cannulas, that I would be given the gift of breathing a little
easier. These supplies were initially met
with extreme opposition in combination with quite a bit of trepidation. My
pride felt that it was more of a stigma to be ‘saddled down’ with this new ‘burden.’
Like WTF?!? I was only 33 (at the time), and I had been living with Scleroderma
since I was 19, Polymyositis and all my other ‘treats’ of MCTD (Mixed
Connective Tissue Disease: Raynaud’s, dry eye, mouth and nose, etc.) As if all of that wasn’t enough to deal with?
Now, I’d be REQUIRED to use this “eyesore” both in public & at home?!?!
Vanity is a real thing people; however, if you let it consume you, you’re as
deep as a cheap a$$ deflated kiddie pool.
One year post of my
cannulaization, (yes, this is yet another word I created). I’ve finally
transcended above the vanity. I am no longer ashamed of the cannula. How can I
be ashamed of something that is helping me to survive? I now own my confidence and proudly wear my
cannula. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a love/hate relationship with the
cannula/supplemental oxygen. I obviously love the cannula, because it provides
my lungs with the much needed oxygen supply they cannot produce on their own. I’m
able to talk for longer spans of time, my overall color is better, as I’m
getting more oxygen to flow throughout my entire body. The hate part comes
about when I have to worry about breaking my neck when I trip on this crazy
25-foot long cannula cord & tubing.
I know it’s long so that I can easily navigate from room to room;
however, why in the hell does it have to get caught on everything?! People with
supplemental oxygen know exactly what I’m talking about! How many times have you been walking swiftly,
like you’re on a serious mission trying to go from one room to the next, only
to be propelled backwards in an awkward yanking motion with one arm flailing in
the air and the other arm instinctively grabbing to protect your neck. Now you
may be afflicted with a case of whiplash, your ears are killing you because the
damn cord nearly ripped them off; and your eyes are bugged out of your head at
the sheer force of the abrupt stop due to the damn jamming of the cannula
cord?!?! But I digress. Whew, I typed
much more than I actually anticipated; I’m just so thankful that I’m finally
able to breathe the good air! Happy 1
year Cannulaversary!!!
