Single Since Seventy-Nine – My Solitary Saga

LMAO at my knack for alliteration used above! Seriously though, I am the epitome of the “Plight of the Single Woman.”  I’m living a singular, solitary life of a childless singleton. No significant other & no spawns. LOL Do you notice my self-deprecating humor much? In a one word answer: “YES!”  It’s my shield, it helps me cope. You know the old adage “laugh to keep from crying?”  Well, I’m the poster child!  Sometimes I feel like the ‘last of the Mohican's.’ Can you relate to this feeling?  More than ever before, I’ve noticed for every married on engaged person I know; I also know another 2 single people. According to the 2012 U.S. Census, “62% of unmarried U.S. residents 18 and older have never been married.”[Source:  America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2012 Table A1].   After reading that statistic, you’d think I’d feel a bit more reassured that I’m not alone, right? Um, nope, that isn’t the case.  Looking closely at the statistic, it said “unmarried;” which is VERY different from being single.  Even though you’re labeled ‘unmarried,’ you can very well be in a loving committed relationship.  Moreover, not every single person is alone. Some people self-identify as ‘single’ because they’re “unmarried.” This isn’t to say that they aren’t dating or in a committed relationship; they’re just being really technical about the word usage of their personal situations.  When I discuss my “singledom” (yep, I’m aware it isn’t a real word… It just fits perfectly in my piece, LOL). I’m solely referring to being alone, alone; as in, not “booed up” (slang for being in a relationship) & not dating/getting to know/”talking to” (slang for the beginning of the “getting to know you” stage, pre dating and pre relationship) anyone at all. 

Most days, I’d say I’m a “Satisfied Single” woman. I’m thankful for learning that term from Loni Love; it means, I’m fine with not having a significant other and I keep living my life happily. However, some days, “I’m like I NEED a boo ASAP!”  This is usually magnified times a million when I have my ‘baby pangs.’  I’m in my mid 30’s & my biological clock is blaring.  Every time I see an adorable baby my ovaries jiggle and my uterus jumps for joy. It sort of reminds me of when “Fat Bastard” (Austin Powers’ character) utters the “get in my belly” line.  LOL.  Not to mention, I’m hyper aware of my ‘single status’ when I receive an invitation to an event; and have to send in the RSVP card. It’s ALWAYS marked the same, “for one.”  One day I hope I’ll be able to write in “plus one, or Kimberly, (insert name of spouse) & family.”  However, if there’s anything I’ve learned thus far; God will send whoever he has in store for you, when you’re supposed to meet them and not a minute before.

 Through my introspective work reflecting on past situations and relationships that didn’t work out, I now understand that those men were not for me.  The minute I shared that I had Scleroderma, some disappeared like they were moonlighting as Houdini (the magician not the rap group, LMAO).  Others, tried to say they understood and didn’t mind that I was chronically ill; but broke up with me soon after my revelation anyway.  I don’t fault these men for leaving, they knew they were not equipped to handle something.  In turn, I saw that they weren’t strong enough for me.  In a partner, I don’t need a caretaker or a handler.  I need a mate, my other half, a person to build with, be intimate with.  The blessing was that I was able to figure out the incompatibility of those failed relationships before any more precious time and emotions were wasted. So as I joke about my “Solitary Saga,” it’s actually quite real. I move through my everyday as an individual without a romantic relationship; but I’m not alone.  I have so much love in my life and I give so much love to the people in my life.  Every day is a new day to continue to work on myself & to achieve my goals.  That way, when I meet ‘the one,” or the man God will send to me, I’ll be in a better position to receive healthy, mature, and real unconditional love.  I will also be able to offer my whole complete heart, time and attention to work towards establishing a beautiful & hopefully lifelong union.