Dating

I mean like how hard is it for an attractive 32 year old woman to find true love? Hmmmm, about as difficult as a 9 lb. 12 oz. baby trying to make its way out of  the birth canal, through something as small as, the size of a coaster.  Yes, I said a coaster.   You know the small circular thing placed on a flat surface & used to set your drinks on; so you don’t get smudges or ring marks on the table.   Anyway, when you don’t have a social life, and you've repeatedly been unsuccessful with the whole online dating “experience.” FYI – “experience” is a really nice way of putting it... They were farces, debacles, essentially; they all ended the same way - Disastrous (yes this word deserves a capital “D”).   There aren’t any other avenues you can go down; unless, you go through the trusted, "you know someone, who introduces you to someone…." What happens, when the “someone” you know refuses to introduce you to anyone they know?!?!  (Not because there’s anything “wrong” with you); Note – this is what you keep telling yourself “I am kind, I am smart” (You get it, wink, wink?!?!)  The explanation that you keep receiving from people, particularly the men in your life is, “you don’t want to date anybody I know, they aren’t good enough for you…blah, blah, blah.”  So, what happens to your status? Wait for it... Wait for it…  NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!  You stay as “Single as a crisp dollar bill,” or my own personal motto, “Single since ’79.”   The love I long for can be summarized in one compound word– nonexistent! The children I always dreamed of, sadly that dream is no longer “a dream deferred;” it’s just plain ole – nonexistent.  People always say, “Oh you have time.” – My response to that, “No, I don’t.”  Given, my concept of time is different from most – I’m a “Chronically Ill Chick” or as I will refer to myself as a “C.I.C” - I’m a stickler for acronyms.  Sad part is, I can’t even blame it on “text talk;” I’ve been turning things into acronyms since I was a junior in college… Getting back on track, due to the challenges I face, it requires me to meet or get connected to a strong individual.  He has to be strong, because he’ll have to deal with a lot.  Every single day, I go through challenges related to my health.  I am not trying to be doom and gloom here – a stray bullet or an explosion can take me out quicker than my disease might; after all, we live in a crazy world!  It’s a reality I face on the daily.  My mortality faces me directly in the face in a more magnified way.  I have no choice but to surrender to my limitations.   Like most women, I want the happy ending; but, don’t I actually need a ‘beginning’ in order to get to ‘the end?’   I’m also a strong supporter of, “If you want it, go get it,” but; now I can’t “get it” the way my healthy counterparts are able to… In the immortal words of Trey Songz: “I’m alone, alone, alone…”